Murderer On The Bus
by Ratt9
Summary: L and Light overhear a man talking about murdering someone on a bus. What in the world? Hopefully amusing.


"Light-kun is not pleased with me."

"No. No, he is not."

"Well, I'll have Light-kun know that I am not pleased with him, either."

"Does Light-kun look like he cares?"

L ignored Light's mockery of his speech and stepped onto the bus. They were returning to headquarters from the library, and they had both been arguing over a statistics book they both wanted to read. While arguing, the book had been intercepted by another person, leaving them both without a copy.

The bus was relatively empty, with only about four other people. L and Light sat at the very back of the bus, as far apart from each other as possible.

The man two seats in front of him was talking on the phone, and seemed to be quite absorbed in his conversation. His voice was loud enough that the two detectives couldn't help but tune in on the conversation.

"There was blood and glass everywhere, Kuura," he was saying. "It was a helluva lot to clean up. I threw the body in the river. I won't say it was an accident, though—I killed her on purpose."

L and Light's ears perked up. _What the….?_

"It only took one shot to kill her; she was so annoying. She'd never stop knocking! She'd never leave me alone. That's why I decided to take matters into my own hands."

L and Light caught each other's eyes hesitantly, regarding each other in shared disbelief at what they were hearing. Was this man admitting to murder, right in front of them?

"The baby would have turned out just like its mother, so I offed him as well." The man was silent for just a minute before saying, "Oh, I strangled the baby, of course. Though I was considering running him over with my car. But, no need for that. It's not like he can run away."

L and Light now exchanged horrified glances. There was no mistake, was there? This man had killed a woman, and, apparently, a baby.

"Uhhh…." Light started, his mouth slightly open. L's eyes were wide as he stared at the murderer. The other people on the bus seemed unconcerned.

"I could have hired someone else to do it for me, but I wanted the pleasure of doing it with my own hands."

Light scooted over to L. "Ryuzaki, we've got to see if we can bust this guy."

Wordlessly, L nodded. Making their way to the seats in front of them, L and Light tapped the guy on the shoulder and gestured for him to get off the phone.

With a confused look, he said, "Sorry, Kuura. It seems some guys want to talk to me or something." He closed his phone.

To Light, eying the chain, he asked, "are you guys gay? What do you want?"

"No, we are not," L cut in. "Sir, what is your name?"

"What, are you Kira, or something?"

With a small smirk, L muttered under his breath, "Maybe…"

Hearing this, Light immediately spoke up, "No, but we did overhear your conversation and have reason to believe that you may have committed a murder."

"What? Murderer of what—birds? I just hate them is all."

L and Light looked at each other. "What?"

The bus pulled to a slow stop.

"I hit a woodpecker with my car," the man went on to explain. "Then I killed her babies. It was an invasive species, anyway."

One of the men got off of the bus.

"Oh," Light said, stupidly. "I'm sorry we accused you of murder. I know how that feels."

Just as he was walking back to his original seat, Light's eye caught on the man walking down the street, having just gotten off of the bus. Suddenly, Light froze.

"What is it, Light-kun?"

The bus began pulling away, within seconds already far away from the previous bus stop.

"That man…the one who just got off the bus. I recognize him from a wanted poster. In 2007, he killed an English teacher. His name is Tatsuya Ichihashi!"

L and Light just stared at each other. As it turned out, there really had been a murderer on the bus, and they had missed him, in favour of a bird killer. After freezing for a moment, they just shrugged and sat back down. Kira would take care of him eventually.

Co-written by Stormygio.

What the fuck did I just write? Oh well, it was still fun~ Also, Tatsuya Ichihashi is the name of a real wanted man in Japan, and he really did kill an English teacher in 2007. I hope you all enjoyed it, anyway. Please tell me what you think! Review! Review as if your life depended on it! Thank you very much.

~Ratt Kazamata, 5/31/2012


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